Marathon training. It's hard work, y'all.

This post is dedicated to all the people who have supported me during the training period for my marathon.  I couldn't do it without y'all.

So, the marathon starts in two days.  Here's what I've been doing to train.

1.  Gradually increasing the time that I watch TV. 

2.  Staying up consistently past 10:00 p.m.

3.  Eating a variety of foods consistent with a 'marathon body,' i.e. popcorn, peanuts, ice cream, chocolate, Dagwood sandwiches, Doritos, etc.

4.  Watching the last few episodes of Season 1.  If you remember I learned the importance of this training technique when Season 2 of House of Cards came out and I'd forgotten all of Season 1 so I had to waste time watching Season 1 again and all of the people passed me for Season 2 and I probably came in last for viewing time.  So annoying and totally preventable.

5.  Finding comfortable positions on the couch in order to avoid marathon injury.  (Hubby:  We may need to buy a new couch in the next two days.)

6.  Buying the proper shoes and clothes.  The importance of shoes and clothes during a marathon cannot be discounted.  Here's some quick and super easy advice from a 'professional.'  Choose clothes that are comfortable, loose fitting (see #3) and that are easy to get off (see #7).  Choose shoes that are soft and easy to kick off (see #5).

7.  Practicing peeing in less than five seconds and researching catheters.  (Kidding!)

8.  Finding everything I can on the interwebs about characters so that I can fully understand what I'll be up against.

9.  Buddying up with like-minded friends so that I can have encouragement and solidarity along the way.  (Research shows that this is really important for marathons, y'all.)

10.  Lastly, preparing my family for the test of my endurance the lies ahead.

It's all about the training.  Are you with me?

If you are missing something, it might have been under my fridge.

So I've been doing a lot lately (besides watching every single show on Netflix).  Here's a list that will sum it up nicely (or just sum it up) and be easier (and I hope more entertaining) than me trying to explain it all.

1.  Bandit my dog is an awful painter's helper.  He took a fair amount of spackle off the wall in one fell swoop.  He tried to eat the painter's brushes when he was washing them (right after he'd had his first bath in about eight months naturally).  He drank the painter's Big Gulp because he left it on the table.  He ate the painter's tacos because the painter did not learn from his mistake.  And he ate numerous pieces of old (and new) baseboards like they were treats we'd bought just for him.

2.  The painter is still willing to come back to do another job upstairs.

3.  There are still people in the world with "work ethic." (I'm not talking about myself here.  "Duh," you say.)

4.  My kids *might* have careers in stand up.  Or I'm unusually prejudice (most likely the latter and my kids will be living with me for a long time which I probably will not find funny at all). 

5.  The time between spring break and summer can be compared to the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  It's painful for parents, kids, and teachers alike.  The kids are done learning anything.  So, naturally that's when the state testing occurs.

6.  It is possible to overthink things.  This can result in hours of time spent thinking and not actually doing.  I fall victim to this phenomena a lot and it explains quite a bit about the status of my life.

7.  When you've been married over 20 years another wedding and all the ensuing presents would be helpful and probably less expensive than trying to re-do your house with your own income.  I am considering a huge 25 year anniversary party.  I will not write Please no gifts on the invitations.  In fact, I'm asking Prudie if it would be presumptuous and rude to register.  At Target.

8.  My entire paycheck has gone to Target the past few months.  Wouldn't it be easier for me to just move in there?  I guess I could offer to work a few hours, too?  And promise to wear only red and khaki?

9.  Netflix has ruined regular TV for me.  It happened slowly, but I'm pretty sure now that I can't watch regular TV anymore.  SPOILER ALERT.  I knew something huge was happening on The Good Wife and I still finished Luther on Netflix that night instead.  What's wrong with me?  Then I read in the paper that Will died and I didn't really care unless I can watch it on Netflix.  Again, Will's dead!  What's wrong with me?

10.  The kids have discovered the dog whisperer on Netflix.  I've told you guys before how much I don't really like him?  I mean really.  If my parents watched the dog whisperer I think they'd think he was dropping acid (if my parents know what that is).  But, whatever.  The kids have told me that it's the owners that must be trained (yeah, I suspected a train wreck coming, too).  And that *maybe* Bandit behaves the way he does because of me.  So, basically the dog whisperer has taught my kids that parenting dogs and kids is basically the same.  The parents will invariably be blamed for everything.

10.  When you do home repair, maintenance, and painting it makes you feel good.  It also makes you notice all the things you didn't do.  How many permanent handprints will be on all the doors before we can repaint them all, too? 

11.  Painting also can make you want to clean everything.  Remember about a year ago when I went bat $hit crazy and tried to organize every area of my house?  Well, damn it if it didn't all get dirty and disorganized again.  The hell?  So, now I'm on a cleaning frenzy again.

12.  I don't pay my house cleaner enough.  She hasn't been here in a while because the chaos would probably give her a coronary and it takes everything out of me to clean the house.  Aside from the fact that it's covered in a thin layer of painting dust/grime, I'm just not a good house cleaner. 

13.  I cleaned under the stove for the first time in about 11 years and there was an ecosystem growing under there.  It was horrific, but I did find quite a few lost toys, magnets, kitchen tools, and popcorn from the early 2000's.  No more gourmet popcorn for Bandit.  Turns out he likes years old popcorn that's covered with goo just as much!

14.  This motivated me to clean under the other three movable appliances.  Not one of the five people I live with (or Bandit) noticed or cared that I'd done it.  The hell?  Lesson?  Not doing it again for another 10-20 years. 

15.  After seven years of having three of our four kids taking piano lessons and all practicing on a digital keyboard, we bought a piano.  Now, I've never seen the movie We Bought A Zoo (if it's on Netflix, though, there's a good chance I might see it someday), but I wanted to make a mockumentary for reality TV called We Bought a Piano.  They're *kinda* like children or dogs.  You have to take care of them, they respond to temperature changes, if you treat them right they can provide joy for you your entire life, they need annual tunings (sometimes more if they get sick), they're fragile, and they cost a buttload of money.  I'm hoping this piano does not want to go to college.

16.  I miss you guys a lot.  I've vowed to be better about reading my favorite blogs and I've vowed to post more.  But let's be honest.  This might be my last post for a while or until I get out of rehab.  Last night around 10:30 p.m. hubby and I started doing something we'd been putting off for a while.  We had sex?  No.  We started Breaking Bad.   

Six days (give or take) and I'll be back.  Maybe.

House of Addiction

Step 1:  Admit you have a problem.

Hubby and I tore through season one of The Following on Netflix in record time.  Then we had a brief reprieve in which I think I worked and blogged and then season two of House of Cards came out and I've been on the campaign trail ever since.  It's exhausting.  We have one more episode to go and today I find myself digging out of a TV hole that's a few months thick. 

So, hello!

Remember when I told you I didn't care for Dexter too much and then I kind of changed my mind and then hubby tore through all 107 seasons and it ended and I was mildly sad?  Well, after season two of House of Cards I think I have it all sorted out.

Dexter (and actually The Following) were totally predictable.  We all knew (no spoiler alert - because really even if you haven't finished Dexter admit you know how it will end) that every single episode Dexter would find a way out, right?  He couldn't die because then the show would um....be over?  And what good would he be to his show if he were in jail?  So, it was kind of like a soap opera.  I missed or slept through quite a few scenes in a few episodes, but I was still able to keep up.  And I always knew how it would end. 

Same with The Following.  Once I figured out that Kevin Bacon was not Rob Lowe, I really didn't have much thinking to do.  Sure some people I had grown fond of die (again, admit you knew that would happen), but I'm still waiting for something totally unpredictable to happen.

Enter House of Cards.  I slept through a lot of season one and even told hubby I didn't like it much.  It was too political. 

Me to my former self, "Duh.  And:  You are stupid." 

Well, now I've decided it's really the only politics I care about.  Because of my irresponsibility during season one we had to watch the entire season again before watching season two so that I could refresh my memory and catch up to speed.  At first hubby admonished me but then he admitted he had forgotten entire scenes, too.

To any people under 30 reading my blog, "Old age sucks.  And sometimes it takes a lot of time.  Try to make a lot of money before you are old so that you will need less time to work because everything else (like watching TV) will take more time than it does now."

Here's why I love House of Cards. 

1.  Kevin Spacey.  That's acting.  Or is it?  Because sometimes I think he's just as heartless in real life as he is on TV.  Seriously.  He's on my list of People I Never Want to Meet.
2.  Robin Wright.  I have no short term (or long term) memory, so it took me all of season one to realize she was married to Sean Penn (which - why does he look like he's 110?).  If I cut my hair short in the next few months, I blame her.
3.  HOC is so compelling that I have been paranoid since starting season two/one.  Coupled with The Following and The Good Wife (which we watch on good 'ole regular TV), I'm sure our phones are tapped, my Facebook account is hacked, there are hidden cameras in my house, and the NSA is passing on relevant information about my dog to Homeland Security.
4.  I've finally learned what whip the votes means and I might be able to pass some sort of third grade government test.  Thank you, Netflix, for this edumacation.
5.  Remy Danton.

Easy.  On.  The.  Eyes.  Suit is optional.

6.  Excellent one liners.  There's even a website dedicated to the one-liners.  And it appears this website is sponsored by "Live Life By The Faith of Christ."  I say "appears" because I was scared to click the link (because my laptop is bugged).  Anyway - if The Faith of Christ sponsors the website dedicated to the one liners from HOC that is irony at its finest.
7.  It makes me miss Damages less.  Two shows about people without scruples.  The only difference I can see so far is that Damages had a few characters who were basically good. 

So, there you have it.  I've been busy and I'll be the first to admit - I probably need an intervention..

In the midst of all the TV politics we had a real life election.  I voted but it was kind of anti-climatic.  Many politicians' machines called me asking for my vote.  I hung up on all of them.  I'm waiting for Frank Underwood's office to call because, although I don't agree with Frank's psychotic politics, I can't wait to put this campaign bumper sticker on my car:

(in 2016.)

I think I've been nice.

Dear Santa,

(It's a short list.)

1.  Someone to come and take down all the Christmas paraphernalia, pack it up neatly, label it, and put it back in the attic so that next year we can avoid - near attic break through, miles of lights jumbled together, Christmas ornaments that never quite get put away and end up "by the phone" all year, and Boy Child using the dog's stocking because his is lost. 

If said "someone" looks like this, I will not complain.

Snap, Ms. DayintheLife!  Let's get your decorations down and organized! www.fanpop.com

2.  Downtown Abbey all seasons on Netflix.  Come on!  YOU ARE SANTA.  Or, you can buy it for me, but I already priced it at Target and it'd be cheaper to put it on Netflix.  And I bet it's on a few more people's lists?  Strategy, Santa!  Strategy!

3.  Season Four of The Killing.  Or, pay for rehab for me.  I trust you, Santa.  I know you will pick the one that is better for me.  But, remember, Old Man - Work Smart!  Rehab these days is expensive.

4.  My vision from my 20's back.  (My boobs are not on this list because they were on my list last year and I didn't get them.  So, I've decided not to be as greedy!  I am not too old to learn from my mistakes!)

5.  And, while we're talking eyes, could you make those nasty under eye circles go.  away?  Annoying!  I know you like people who help themselves (that's you, right?), so I'll tell you - I'm quite addicted to eye creams and am not above trying Preparation H.  I'll try that just as soon as I can get to the store without the five year old.  (Mom, What's a tampon?)

6.  My memory.  I can't remember if that made the list last year?

7.  Summer weather, but not with drought because I want to be good to the earth.  (See?  I've learned from my selfishness!)

8.  Don't worry, I'm almost done!  Remember Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, Santa?  Well, there was this gum you could chew and it was like a whole dinner?  And then that obnoxious girl (I can't remember her name right now - see #6) ate some and ruined it for everyone?  Well, along the same lines as the gum that tastes like something great:  I want a beer that when I drink it, it tastes like everything good about Christmas.  (And if you want to make that zero calories - feel free to delete something else that I've asked for!)

That's it!  That's ALL, Santa!  I think I've been quite conservative and I have faith in you! 

Have a Merry Christmas, Santa!

Ms. DayintheLife

P.S. - I will practice extreme self-control and not eat your cookies!

The Little Witch. Indeed.

Happy Halloween, guys!  I miss you!

I got this gem from The Bloggess' s post today.  If you don't read her, you should.  This video kind of says it all. 

Happy hauntings!

Sorry, y'all. I'm busy procrastinating....I mean drinking....I mean procrastinating.

So, it's been a family filled summer so far.  Here's what I've learned.

1.  Someone made a wine for me.  (Not to be confused with a whine for me.  Someone made that for me a long, long time ago.)

Notice the little person relaxing at her desk?  She's clearly a woman.  To which I say, "Huh?"  In my extensive research and experience, men procrastinate far more than women.  Amirite?

2.  I've lost weight.  Maybe.  My swimsuit bottoms almost fell off in the pool today.  This could be because:  I have lost weight.  My swimsuit bottom elastic has completely lost its elasticity.  Or, I am a really bad swimmer.  I am going with - I lost weight.  So, yay!  And, boo.  Because now I have to shop again.

3.  Because during the first week of summer our kids were turning into computer screens, communicating with acronyms, and pausing their games only to toilet themselves and eat, hubby and I decided we had to somehow limit their technology use.

We have now limited it to the point where our kids hate us so much they might move out before school starts again in August. 

We arrived at this status via a surprising move last Sunday evening, when we voted in my family.  The two options up for vote were:  1.  Kids will use technology only on Saturday and Sunday for unlimited use.  There will be no technology use Monday - Friday.  Or, 2. kids use technology for one hour a day at the same hour Sunday - Saturday.  The kids voted for Option 2, and for one full week we have battled and argued each and every day about how many minutes are in a freaking hour.

Seriously?  Tuesday I thought Girl 2 was having the DTs because we had to stop her game and leave the house during her "one hour."

4.  I am addicted to Daft Punk.  My kids are happy, but a little concerned about me.  Have a listen and you'll soon be addicted, too.  You're welcome.

5.  I have been unable to run with puppy because he threw my hip out pulling me and I am recovering with large doses of Aleve, chocolate, and beer.  So, I am getting no exercise and gaining weight.  And he is getting no exercise and acting like a maniac.  This has created a vicious cycle similar to drug dependency.  He is hyper because no one is exercising him and no one wants to exercise him because he's too damn hyper.  Cheesus.

Hubby had a moment of pure genius earlier and declared, "We should have named puppy "Technology" because then everyone would want to play with him."

That, folks, has been my summer thus far.  How have you been?

You dropped a bomb on me, baby.

It's that time again.  Pre-Mother's Day Days wherein you discreetly drop hints about what you want like the dog discreetly drops fart bombs while he's presumably watching TV.

I'm making it easy this year and buying all my presents early.  Then I am going to wrap them in my favorite wrapping paper (probably the comics), put big Christmas bows on them and make tags that say, "To the best mom in the whole world.  We love you!"  Also, I might misspell some words just to add to the authenticity.

Here's what I'm getting so far:

1.  A good sports bra/s.  Now, I have needed some new sports bras for a while (sorry if that's TMI), but one recent incident spurred me into action.  A friend of mine was on TV while running.  Yes, you read that correctly.  TV news cameras filmed her while she was running - pushing her three? kids in a STROLLER (yeah, she's kind of like superwoman).  And, the next day instead of basking in the glory of her 15 seconds of fame her comment to a few of us was, "Man, I need a better sports bra."  I laughed pretty hard at that, but then I got serious and kind of freaked out.  What if I am filmed sometime soon running???  What would it be like???  It would be like (or, would have been like, since I've already started using my new bras - you're welcome) the song, "Do your ears hang low?"  Not pretty.

2.  A purse.  I think I've gotten a purse every Mother's Day since I became a mother.  That would add up to 11 purses if I bought the $400 kind, but since I don't it adds up to one purse.  But, it's cute:



www.squidoo.com  I don't think that's the one I actually got, but close enough and I'm too lazy to go take a photo of mine.

3.  I am getting a trip.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I am going on a trip.  By myself.  Without children. 

"Aw," you ask, "How is that for Mother's Day?" 

I know.  It's like when you secretly wish that for Mother's Day you could spend the day completely alone, right?  Who does that???  (Probably some evil people.  I've certainly never thought that.)  Okay.  So, my trip really isn't for Mother's Day, but kinda.  My niece over at Fit Foodies. Healthy Life. is tying the knot at this gorgeous place. 

Scroll through till you see the gal in the tub.  That's gonna be me.  Don't worry - I won't photograph myself....well, I might.  But, I won't post about it....unless I do.  I'll warn you first, though, so you can get ready to poke your eyes out with sharp sticks. 

Hubby gets to stay home with our four kids.  (WHEEEEE!  He's excited.)  I was careful to tell him, "It's okay, babe.  It's a round trip ticket."

4.  Another bathing suit.  So, remember last year?  When I almost proposed to the bathing suit saleswoman after she saw me naked?  Well, funny thing.  She gave me a little confidence in the area of shopping for bathing suits.  Possibly a little too much because now I really want one of these suits with "high waisted knickers." 


Apparently confidence when gotten at the hands of a blunt bathing suit saleswoman is dangerous.

Don't worry.  I'm waiting on this Mother's Day gift because 1.  I still have my winter weight and may keep it on through the summer, and 2.  These suits are not ruched in the bust, nor slimming in the waist, so I clearly would not be following her suit advice to me.

5.  Popcornopolis.  This may be a gateway drug, you guys.  Oh my GAWD.  My family and I are popcorn junkies.  If popcorn was illegal, we would all live in the pokey.  Now, I must confess, I've pretty much eaten all of this present, so the chance that it actually gets wrapped and given to me is slim to none (unlike my waistline after consuming it).  I am a bit of a popcorn snob if I've never told you guys.  I abhor microwave popcorn.  I only eat homemade or gourmet.  Recently we got a huge tin of this stuff which I thought was pretty great stuff.  But, I gotta tell you guys, Popcornopolis is DELICIOUS and way better.  I am deeply in love.  AND, I was researching important stuff on Pinterest last night and I found out there is an actual store in Austin.  So, since I already ate all of my present I told hubby and the kids that they are gonna take me there for Mother's Day!  (I know they're excited.)

That's it for now.  I'm sure I'll think of some more stuff I can't live without.  (Depending on their budget maybe a boob job to go with my new bras is in order?)  Happy Pre-Mother's Day Days!

Let's hope unicorning pays well.

I'd like to come up with a normally scheduled and/or regular series of posts entitled "$hit My Family Does."  But, my track record for normality and regularity sucks. 

That said, remember the post about the evangelizers who left their bikes in our neighborhood and my kids theorized (because they're smart like that) how to most effectively steal them?
Well, this post is kinda like that.

$hit My Family Does (this will probably never happen again)

1.  Boy Child screws things up in hysterical ways.  Today at breakfast he said very seriously and poetically, "That which doesn't make us stronger, kills us."  My favorite quote according to my Facebook profile (which we know is like Wikipedia in its truthfulness) is Neitchze's, so I love this about as much as I love my kids.

2.  Hubby was explaining to Girl 2 what a baker's dozen was.  When he was done she said, "I always thought it was because the baker ate a dozen and then there was one left to share with someone else."  We *might* be related.

3.  We were driving the other day and we passed an area where new construction had started.  Boy Child commented, "Hmm. I wonder what they're building there, mom."  There was a construction company's sign up with the motto "Blank-blank Construction Company...Building the Future."  He quickly read the sign out loud and said, "That's a weird place for the future."  Lest you think he was joking when this happened:  The other day we drove by the same place and he said not even jokingly, "Look, mom.  They're getting pretty far on the future there."

4.  I don't really believe in anthropomorphism, but since I am probably going to have to send this *smart(ass)*puppy to private puppy school, he will heretofore be considered "family."  The puppy tries to strangle himself each and every time he is "chained up" outside.  Before you call PETA on me, he's only "chained" for short amounts of time (or he would die, apparently) and tomorrow the guy is coming to fix our invisible fence (as we explained to Girl 3, it's not really "invisible").  I can tie him up, quickly go inside to get a cup of coffee, walk right back outside to check on him and he's managed to make a cat's cradle with his rope. 

Photo credit:  Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary.

Cheesus.  And, people keep telling me he's smart. I guess I'm ecstatic he's not dumb?

5.  Lately we've been going to our favorite hang-out, Spicy Ginger, and ordering almost everything on the menu.  I am beginning to wonder what those lovely people think of us.  Are they frightened?  Is there talk in the back?  "OH MY GAWD.  HERE COMES THAT ENORMOUS MEXICAN FAMILY WHO EAT EVERYTHING ON THE MENU.  QUICK PUT OUT THE "CLOSED" SIGN."  When you manage to spend nearly $100.00 on a very reasonably priced restaurant, and the food you order could feed a small country and barely fits on the table it borders on embarrassing and it might be time to quit.

6.  This one *might* eventually be one for Prudie, but right now I'm just filing it here.  Girl 3 is addicted to chewing gum.  She hides it like an addict.  Although friends have suggested I allow it on a "supervised" basis, or I use it as a reward, hubby and I have adopted an AA approach in that we are not giving her anymore gum.  (We also helped her to admit she has a problem and make amends to the people she's hurt.)  We are pretty sure if she relapses it will not be a "I can just chew this one piece and I'll be fine," but that she will pick up where she left off and it will be more like, "WHERE ELSE CAN I HIDE THIS $HIT???  THE LID OF THE TOILET???"  Lest you think we are cookoo cra-cra, the *damages* so far include (but are not limited to):  the wood floor in the corner of her closet is permanently marked bright green and scented minty, the cup holder that's closest to her in the Yukon Cornelius is permanently sticky, her sheets are stained bright green, and there is a small piece of hair in the back of her head that still has not fully grown out.

7.  I have an irrational fear of wet dog, rain, mud smell in my house.  Usually that's easy to avoid because I live in Texas and it only rains about once every eight years here.  But, lately we've been having some cloudy weather.  The other night I let puppy out to strangle himself on the chain.  About one second after I brought him in the back door it started to POUR.  I thanked Jesus, Mary, and Joseph profusely that my timing had been so extraordinary.  At about the same time, Hubby was so excited with the rain (I guess he forgot what rain was) he threw open the front door in glee.  Yeah.  Puppy pretty much ran in the back door and immediately out the front.  He refused to come back in until he was soaking wet, stinky, and nice and muddy.

8.  Girl 3 has been a negotiator I think since she learned to talk.  She's stepped up her game as of late and I thought she'd get a little smarter with it.  But, no.  It still goes down something like this almost every time:

Girl 3:  I can't finish this supper.  Remember I don't like peas???  How about I take five more bites?

Me:  How about 10 more bites?

Girl 3:  NOOOOOOOO!  How about seven?

(There are just about 7 more bites of peas on her plate - which I have carefully calculated before entering into the negotiations.)

Me:  PERFECT!

This complete misunderstanding of the art of negotiation has made me wary of what her future holds, but also thankful that parenting in this regard has not become more difficult.  So, I have mixed feelings?  Let's hope unicorning pays well?

Lest you think after reading this that I am perfect and I don't do any ridiculous $hit, I took puppy out running wearing my headset and phone armband for the first time just the other day.  Let's just say the entanglement of earphones, choke chain, leash, and ponytail coupled with my complete lack of coordination and just how quickly it all went down was amazingly embarrassing.  I am so happy that I was home alone and that I ended up flat on my back with puppy joyfully licking my face in my own driveway or I most surely would have to find another home.

When you need to decide what's for dinner ten minutes before dinner.

I didn't know what I was making for dinner when I got up this morning because we are having another eat from our pantry challenge (due to too much Spicy Ginger).  I defrosted two chicken breasts in the hope that I would have some inspiration while working.

So, not only did I have inspiration (in the form of my frantic Google search at 4:14 p.m.), I scored a big hit tonight with food straight from my pantry/freezer by modifying a bunch of pasta recipes I found online and adding in some other stuff I had in the cabinet.

Hot dog, y'all!

Here's the skinny in case you ever find yourself in a dinner emergency (and you probably won't because you are probably way more organized than me):

Delicious hot/cold pasta salad/main course

2 chicken breasts
1 bag of farafalle pasta (or bow-tie - really is that the same thing? or whatever kind of pasta you have in the cabinet)
half a bag of frozen peas, cooked (about two cups?)
a good amount of black olives (half a can?  or a whole can if you really like olives)
one medium size cucumber, diced
feta cheese to taste
about 1/4 cup of Italian dressing
olive oil
mayonnaise
gomashio (I only just found out about gomashio when my sister made me some.  I'm pretty addicted to it now.)

Cut up the chicken into bite size pieces.  Coat the pieces liberally with mayonnaise and Italian dressing.  Cover and let it sit in fridge for at least an hour (or more time if you think ahead). 

Cook your bow tie pasta according to the package directions.  While you are doing that, drain the chicken pieces (but not completely - leave some of that mayo/dressing juiciness on them) and sear them/brown them on fairly high heat so that they cook quickly and brown up nicely.

When the chicken is fully cooked add it to the cooked (and drained) pasta.  Add a splash of olive oil (or more if you like olive oil), and about 1/4 cup of Italian dressing.  Add your cooked peas, about a half a can of olives and your diced cucumber to the pasta/chicken mix.  Mix it all up.

After serving sprinkle with feta cheese (or Parmesan if you prefer that, but feta is just delish) and gomashio.

Best.  Pasta.  Salad/Dish.  Ever.  I loved it.  The kids loved it (minus the feta and gomashio).  Hubby liked it. 

What's on the menu tomorrow?  I think peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Happy eating, y'all.  I'll be back soon - I think I'm on episode 6 of 13.

P.S. - It was eaten too fast for photos. 
P.S.S. - I also made these yummy morsels again, too.  Oh my.  Super delish.

I'm not a detective. I only play one on TV.

I miss you guys, but I'm in the middle of a-ton-o-work and a serious addiction that looks like this:

Step 1:  Admit you have a problem.

My name is Ms. Day In The Life and I am addicted to The Killing. 

(Because it's an addiction, I will have to write a long post about it when I'm done with Season 2.  That's your warning and my apology.)

The Naked Truth. (And yes, I know you never wanted to see me naked.)

So, I'm trying to be a better blogger.  What does this mean for you?  I have no idea.  (I'll probably be way more annoying?) 

But, I just finished reading an excellent post  over at one of my favorite bloggers' space and he said try to post everyday because your readers want to subscribe to something that is worthwhile.  So, please think I'm worthwhile?  (He may have also said something about groveling, too, but I'm not above that yet.)

I've also had the opportunity to read lots of posts lately where the blogger tells you a lot of things about himself/herself so that you can get to know him/her better.  At least I think that's why they are doing it.  Do you want to know me better?  Probably not, but here it goes anyway.

1.  I am a compulsive list maker.  Sometimes Often times I make lists to make the list.  Is that creepy?  Yes.  But, I can't stop doing it.  Yesterday I found this list in my jeans' pocket:

2.  Sometimes I go months without washing my jeans.

3.  I often ask and answer questions all by myself.  And by "often" I mean all the time.  Example:  This is the running dialogue in my head right now.

Is this post crazy?
Probably.
Do I care?
No.
Should I still publish it?
Yes. 
Why did you ask that question when you actually knew the answer before you even typed it?
I have no idea.

4.  I blame my kids and hubby for stuff I do at least daily.  Example:  When I've eaten 10 candies out of my kids' candy baskets after they've gone to bed and they find my wrappers in the trash the next morning I calmly say when they ask how the wrappers got in the trash, "Oh, how did those get in the trash?  That's weird.  I guess dad was craving chocolate last night."  My kids, "But, dad doesn't even like chocolate."  Me, "WELL, THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT WEIRD THEN, HUH???"

5.  So, is #4 basically lying?  Yes, it is.

6.  I hate talking on the phone.  Don't ever call me and tell me something remotely important that needs action because usually I am not even listening.  The washing machine that I am loading is making too much noise and I can't hear you.  (My close friends and most of my family know this about me so I don't consider it rude.)  (Sometimes I lie to myself.)

7.  I am mostly deaf.  In both ears.  Not really, but it's psychosomatic so that makes it true.

8.  I don't trust doctors.  Unless they are taking a baby out of my womb.  In that case I trust them more than hubby.

9.  I brush my teeth anytime I am upstairs in my bathroom.  Even if I brushed them earlier and I haven't eaten anything.

10.  I read a lot in the bathroom.  My kids *might* think I have bowel problems because they often pound on the door and scream, "ARE YOU DONE YET?  ARE YOU OKAY?  GAWD, MOM.  YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR LIKE AN HOUR!"  Half the time I'm just sitting on the pot (the closed pot) reading my book and grunting occasionally at them.  I get my best reading done that way.

11.  I constantly curse at spell check.  Example (I just said this to spell check.):  No you, moron.  Cheesus H. Christ.  I typed, "hte" and you think I want to say "Hate???"  WTF?  You are a worse speller AND WRITER than I am???  How would that even make sense???  And this is supposed to be helpful???  I hate you.

I could go on and on.  Who knew?  Turns out I love talking about myself.  But, this is to make you guys happy, right?   

Now, tell me something incriminating about yourself (not on the phone - in the comments) to make me happy and then we'll be even.  Happy Tuesday!
 

It's not the Oscars.

I'm in a weird state right now.  It's called the state of confusion.  So, this is not really a post, but more of an Andy Rooneyish list of things that are bugging me.  (You're welcome and I'm sorry because Andy Rooney bugs me, too.)

1.  What the hell is really in Thin Mints?  Crack cocaine?  Is there anyone in the world that can eat just one?  I can resist them until about February 25th and then I'm like an addict that needs a fix.  I eat one and I see bugs crawling all over me.  Until I eat another one and then I feel a little better.  And then I eat the whole box and I stop shaking.  Why are the Girl Scouts trying to kill me?

2.  Why is my puppy such a nut?  Is it because he's a pound puppy?  Is that why he is compelled to never leave our sight?  Do I like this?  Or, do I just think it's weird?  Is he an idiot savant?  Heavy on the idiot?  Because he can almost open the front door with his paw.  Yeah.  Top that!  I dare you.  My family might actually have a chance on America's Got Talent.

3.  Why did I pay the public library enough money in fines in 2012 to claim it on my fu*king taxes?  Why am I over 30 and still this irresponsible?  Why can't library books come with tasers?  Because I think if I got tasered every time my library books were due, I'd have a fighting chance.

4.  Why is our elementary school talent show such a pain in my a$$?  Why am I not ecstatic that my 11 year old boy wants to play a classical piano piece (that he is actually really good at playing) in the talent show the last year that he will be in elementary school???  Is it because the talent show is rumored to last over two hours and I will have to take hubby and the four year old?  Or is it because if I have to hear even one elementary school girl sing any Taylor Swift song I will vomit in my mouth?  Or could it be because there have been more rehearsals for this talent show than there were rehearsals for the Oscars?  And are there even rehearsals for the Oscars?  Cheesus.

5.  Why have I gained back all the weight I lost last spring in order to be seen in a bathing suit which I will have to be seen in again in another few months?  (Besides #1.)  Why was I born with no will power? 

6.  Why do I have to teach my 11, 10, and 8 year olds how to take their clothes off properly?  Why are we not born knowing how to take off clothes so that they do not need to be inside outed a gazillion times before we can wear them again after washing and drying them?  If I could make a deal with God and trade the innate ability to suckle with the innate ability to know how to remove clothes for easy laundering - I'd do it.

7.  Why does Girl 3 never stop talking?  And where is her volume control knob?  And, what frankly, is she talking about half the time?  Her east coast (?) accent is making her more and more difficult to understand and more than a few times this past month I've had to say after taking serious time to think about her inquiry, "What are you talking about for Pete's sake?"  And then I have to bite my lip when she asks loudly, "Mama, who's Pete?"  Cheesus.

8.  Are the people who developed tax forms and the people who developed business plan templates one in the same?  Because I would consider loading up all my kids to go shop for bathing suits with bad lighting, pasty skin, fat on my belly and eight beady eyes staring at me in order to avoid both of them.

9.  Why when I am carrying two of something (two lipsticks, two sets of keys, two pairs of glasses, two pens, etc.) and I reach for one without being able to see it - do I always grab the one I don't want?  And why doesn't it work to try and trick my own mind?  And why am I crazy enough to try that? 

10.  And while I'm at it, why do I have 1000 pairs of glasses, but I still can't see worth a damn?  Frankly, it's ridiculous.  I have four pairs of bifocals (two downstairs, one upstairs, one in my purse), two pairs of prescription glasses, two pairs of prescription sunglasses, about a $hit ton of non-prescription sunglasses (usually, none of which I can find), and four boxes of contacts for two different prescriptions.  Invariably I leave the house with my glasses on (while it's dark or cloudy) and only non-prescription sunglasses in my purse only to have the sun (which hasn't been seen in days) blaze brightly in the sky out of nofreakingwhere.



denverebayclassifieds.com.  Yes, someone was selling these for $200.00.  Me to Hubby, "I'm gonna be rich!"

There's more, but you have important things to do.  At least I hope you do.  Like your taxes or a business plan.  While you're at it - help yourself to a box of Thin Mints...for me.

I'd rather say "I love you" with clean undies, but that's probably just me.

So, here's what got done this week:

1.  My kids have pretty much always been those kids that take the Valentines directly from the bang-your-head-on-the-Wal-Mart box to school and pass them out as is.  No frills.  No candies.  Nothing home made.  Then they bring home all these Valentines that they've received that cost about $10 each, include all kinds of home made Valentines Monopoly games and chocolates that I have to eat because I don't want the kids to get too many cavities.  I feel like slacker-mom until I have consumed all the chocolate.  Then I feel like slacker-mom with a head ache.  Last year I vowed to change all that. 

Well, it's been moderately successful.  No one really seems to care that I am transforming myself into a quasi-Martha except me.  The kids (especially the Boy Child) are perfectly fine with giving store-bought Valentines and receiving home made Valentines or really anything as long as it's loaded with high fructose corn syrup.  So, since no one really cares I pretty much just did what I wanted this year.  No pressure.......... except Pinterest (damn that bitch).

Here's what me and the big girls made (straight from a photo on Pinterest).  It was pretty easy and delicious.  It cost about 8,000 dollars and we didn't have enough left over to suit my stomach taste.  But, I'd do it again and just save up and buy twice as much. 


Um, yeah.  That's yummy, right?  I like to say "Happy Valentines Day" directly through my stomach.

Here's how you make it because usually Pinterest just shows you the finished product.  Oh, except the generic coffee maker.  (You don't really need that.  Unless you stay up all night to do this.  Then you will need lots of caffeine.)

And this is the cute finished product.  Like I said nothing says, "Happy Valentines Day" like loads of sugar.

And, here's what the tiny girl is taking for her classmates (mainly because there are only 12 classmates).


They were "meh" I'd say.  I'm still working out the kinks of making cookies on my own (yeah, I know, I'm only 39???).

I *think* the lady who taught me/us all the cookie classes *might* be getting sick of me stalking her.  Unfortunately (for her) she works at a cake shop that is just around the corner (too bad I couldn't make a cake if my life depended on it).  So, I've been going there like everyday to ask her mundane questions about every detail of reproducing her cookies in the comfort of my own home (and by "comfort of my own home" I mean in my pajamas drinking a beer).  I think she's growing weary.

She did tell me, though, that my issues with getting the consistency of the frosting just right to squeeze is "perfectly normal" for morons beginners.  Of course, that was after I'd been questioning her for about three hours, so she may have just been trying to get me to go away.

Anyway, friends.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  I am posting all my not-perfect handiwork on Pinterest because you know it needs more normal people like me.  Oh, and did I say not much else got done this week?  I am frantically trying to finish all the shiz for the Ladybug Sweet Shoppe party, my fingers are numb from gluing, and there are piles of dirty laundry everywhere.

So, I guess what I am learning is that keeping up with the Marthas has its advantages.  I get to feel semi-smug and my kids look cool.  It also has its disadvantages - we feel smug and cool wearing yesterday's undies and foraging for food.  That's the wrap guys.  I hope you have a great Valentines...or at least have clean undergarments.  I'll post again when I recover from the third degree burns on my hands.

Netflix - I can't quit you.

So, I really love a great movie, but I've had a somewhat capricious relationship with Netflix since we started seeing each other last February.  I've written about it here, here, and here. 

What's uncanny is that just about one week ago after a trip to Blockbuster (remember Blockbuster?) I said to hubby, "Y'know I am really sick of Netflix never having the movies I want to see.  Why don't we just cancel Netflix and pay Blockbuster a monthly fee and we can watch whatever we want.  Well, just nine of whatever we want, but we don't have any time anyway."

To which hubby answered, "Yeah, but then we'd have to drive.  And besides we don't have any time to watch nine movies a month."

I quietly agreed with hubby, but I continued to dis Netflix in my head for a week.

Then this past Friday rolled around and we watched this (on Netflix):

On the Netflix scale of stars I think it had a 3.  Apparently 3 stars means, "This movie kinda sucks, but if you cannot drive to Blockbuster to rent the movie you really want to see, go ahead and watch this."

Saturday I woke up decidedly pissed at Netflix and seriously considering breaking up.  Then Saturday night rolled around.

Hubby selected this movie:

and you are lucky I am still alive to write about it.

Today I am convicted in continuing my relationship with Netflix for at least a while longer. 

Holy cow, y'all.  If you want a scary movie - this is it.  It's the scariest I've seen since Insidious, which I really liked.

I started to watch the movie with hubby still finishing up a few things on his computer.  It started out with subtitles and immediately I thought, "Crap.  I have to read?"  But I was quickly (I mean within the first few seconds) drawn in.  If you don't click the link - it's set in (I think) Tokyo and it involves a group of friends.  The main character is one of the friends and he is a photographer.  (Are you scared already?  I was.  Cameras in scary movies.  freak.  me.  out.)  In a nutshell (and without a spoiler alert) he and his girlfriend must figure out how to deal with some freaky $hit that is happening to him.

If you are not a reader and hate subtitles - don't worry - there isn't a lot of dialogue.  Because the dialogue that is there is powerful?  I don't know.  I'm not a movie critic.  Just know that hubby hates subtitles and he kept up just fine.

For a movie to really scare me, the main of elements of the movie have to have a basis in reality.  If I think to myself this could really happen then I am scared.  I also love the view that is from the main character's eyes (all you movie critics - tell me what this is technically called).  This movie fits the bill on both counts.  It could happen (that's also what I say about Rosemary's Baby and The Exorcist) and I love the camera shots.  (Ha!  If you've already seen the movie see how I did that?)

After the movie, I had to wait downstairs until hubby was ready for bed so that I didn't have to brave the upstairs alone.  Then I had to do a 20 point check of the upstairs (closets and showers) before I made a running leap on to my bed (so that I was not grabbed by the ankles  by something under my bed).  After I was safely tucked into my bed (two hours later - kidding - kind of) I still had goosebumps.

Hubby said it wasn't all that scary to him (yeah, right).  But I saw him second glancing at all of our windows on the way upstairs.

If you love scary movies like I do - watch it.  You will not be disappointed.

Crack German Dark Chocolate Cake (presumably with gluten)

I blame my brother for my latest indulgence in dark chocolate gooiness heaven.  He had to have a birthday.  Damn him.  My brother's favorite cake is German chocolate and I have a tradition of making him a cake.  It used to be a box cake.  Then a few years ago when I got snappy and decided to give up as many preservatives as I could, it became homemade.

I went through a few German chocolate cake recipes, y'all.  And, although they were good - I think German chocolate cake is supposed to be a bit less sweet (and less moist?) than regular chocolate cake.  If you are a professional reading this post, please tell me if I am mistaken.  Because my cakes were coming out less sweet and slightly dry, I cannot tell you that I was really in love with any of the recipes I tried.

Last year the German chocolate cake I made had about 25 eggs in it, so I renamed that one Heart Attack Cake.  And, for all those eggs, it wasn't all that great.

Well, this year with the help of a good friend I made Crack Cake (named that by me because it is habit forming within seconds of eating it and you might go to jail when someone tries to eat your piece and you stab them with a fork).

It is hands down the best chocolate cake I have ever eaten.  In my life.  (And I've tried a lot of chocolate cake just ask my waistline.)  If you try it and it's awful then clearly it is because my cake making skills are awesome and superior to yours.  Since we all know that's not true, then you should make it and it will be habit forming for you as it was with me.

Here's the recipe (from the box of Hershey's Especially Dark Chocolate):  Don't blame me if you need rehab afterwards.

Hershey's Especially Dark Chocolate (Habit Forming) Crack Cake

2 c sugar
1 3/4 c flour (I used cake flour because I had some in the pantry and it said "cake flour.")
3/4 c Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 1/2 t baking soda
1 t salt
2 eggs
1 c milk
1/2 c vegetable oil
2 t vanilla
1 c boiling water

Heat over to 350.  Grease and flour two 9 inch round baking pans (I used a 9 x 13 because my kids hate coconut and it's easier for them to scrape off their frosting - and put it on my cake - when there is less to scrape.).  Stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl.  Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes (I beat mine way longer because I went to pay some bills - I am a genius multi-tasker - and forgot the Kitchen Aide was on).  Stir in boiling water (batter will be thin).  Pour batter into prepared pans.  Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.  Cool 10 minutes, remove from pans to wire rack.

There is no Nutrition Information on this one.  I'm gonna estimate the calories from fat at somewhere around 1000 (especially since you're gonna want about five pieces).

We had about four pieces leftover that my family took home and they were DELISH the second day.  (Not that I ate all four pieces the second day.) 

Family report on the cake?  Hubby - who doesn't really care for chocolate - damn him - said it was super yummy.  Girl 1 said she liked German chocolate cake frosting now.  Girl 2, 3 and Boy Child ate it without frosting and with ice cream and said it was good.

I've been using the same recipe for the frosting for years because it is super easy and I can almost remember all the ingredients.  Here is the frosting recipe.  It's delish - not that this cake even needs frosting.  It would be excellent with a steaming hot cuppa joe.

I'll be working out a little more this week in an effort to work off the calories from this cake.  I don't say this much, but y'all, it was so yummy it was worth every calorie.

Happy eating!

I'm getting back to you (you might want to write this on the calendar).

As you know, I have a habit of procrastination and leaving things in the lurch.  So, in the spirit of change (Huh?  What's that?) I thought I would bring you two updates.  Shocking, I know.

1.  The quick one first. The Keurig is indeed dead.  I will be calling customer service tomorrow when I have perfected the story I am going to tell them.  Not that it's not true.  Well kinda true.  Technically I guess it's a half truth.  And now I am hearing my dead mother's voice, "Half truth, half lie."  Thank you, Keurig for invoking my deceased mother to prove your point.  The situation in which I got the Keurig was kind of a backroom deal.  Of sorts.  Anyway.  I just needed a little time to decide what to say.  I'll keep you posted.  (And, you know how good I am about that.)

2.  Yes, the raccoons are still here.  They are low-key now.  I no longer go out to the Yukon Cornelius and find mounds of garbage strewn all over the yard.  It's more subtle (and, I like to think of them thinking of it as "discreet" and somewhat "friendly").  For example, yesterday I found simply a ripped Ziploc bag that had contained grapes that had gone bad right outside the garbage can.  The heavy, heavy rock was about six inches from the front of the can.  It looked as if all the grapes were still in the bag.  Apparently, raccoons don't like moldy grapes.  Sorry, raccoons.

I am seeing our relationship as more of a test now.  They are testing my fortitude and ability to consume everything in my fridge.  I am testing their brute strength and persistence.

Some of you (I think one person?  And, that person could be a figment of my imagination.) wondered if I had any photographic examples of what was happening.  So, I snapped this photo a while back just for you guys.

Notice how the rock is in place and there is still trash?  (That's when we realized the raccoons had moved on to the neighbor's trash can.  And then we put a rock on that one.)

2.  Remember when I re-did my girls' room like I was some kind of reject from Design on a Dime auditions?  I told you how miserable I was at decorating and crafting?  And I gave you teaser photos of what was to come?  Well, it's been done for ages now and I thought I'd give you a few photos of the finished product and a budget breakdown like the TV show.  But, then I lost all the receipts.  So, you are just getting photos and know that the complete re-do cost less than the two computers that hubby bought right after I was done. 

I realize that most people will look at these photos and think, "Meh."  But, know that I do not finish much anything.  In fact, this room might well be the only room in my house that is "finished."  And, it will probably stay this way until the girls move out.  Plus, I picked everything myself (so please don't tell me if you hate it or if it is totally uncoordinated).

The new bunk beds.  And the radiating light from the new ceiling fan.  Thank you, hubby.

The view from the top bunk.  See all of our new organization?  I am scared of heights, so you're welcome.

The new hanging thing to hang all the things.

The room from the door.  Really, really bad lighting and not-so-great camera. 

My kids are going to camp this coming week, so I'll be blogging everyday I am going to get some work done.  Have a great week!

If Kubler-Ross had a Keurig and it stopped working.

Stage 1 Denial

The Keurig can't be broken.  There's no way I could have paid this much money for this thing and it be broken.  It just needs to be cleaned!  Surely that's it.  I'll dig out the instructions and clean it.

Stage 2 Anger

Stupid Keurig.  I hate Keurig.  Who wanted this coffee maker anyway???  De-scaling???  Who calls it that except for pretentious people.  It's removing water scum is what it is.  I hate Keurig.

Stage 3 Bargaining

COME ON KEURIG.  I have cleaned every conceivable part of you.  If you just start working for a week, I promise to de-scale you on a schedule for the love of God. 

Stage 4 Depression

What am I going to do???  I don't think I can live without a Keurig.  Who is going to care???  Hubby was right?!  Noooooooooooooo!

Stage 5 Acceptance

Hubby was right?!  Keurig is over rated.  WalMart coffee makers are okay.  I will drink coffee from a WalMart coffee maker and be happy.

Hello, Netflix? Are you busy tonight because I'm ready to give us another try.

So, you guys probably know that although I just started seeing Netflix in February - we've had our ups and downs since then.  A few weeks ago hubby and I stumbled upon The Killing.  I am pretty sure my niece recommended it to us, but my memory is bad so it could have been someone else.  Regardless, I am in love.  Season 1 (which I am sure all of you have already seen - because I live under a rock) centers on the murder of a teenage girl and two detectives who go about trying to solve it.  There are a lot of dirty politics (I crossed out dirty because is there a clean kind?) thrown into the who-dunnit, mob affiliations in the dead girl's family, and incredibly twisted emotional lives of both of the main detectives.  I.  love.  it.  all.

My love spelled out for your reading pleasure?  Yes.  (Spoiler alert, but I mostly ramble, so you're probably okay.)

1.  Old fashioned detective work, which you know I love.  No CSI-style high-gloss crime labs where no one ever hits the street because everything is on the computer.  Just cranky detectives who work their a$$es off around the clock.  In fact, it did kind of make me question whether or not detectives ever sleep.  I mean, really?  Can someone go 56 hours on no sleep and still like walk?  Because if I go on less than six hours of sleep consecutively for like more than four days I get all woozy and vomit-y and I am a B&TCH and a half.  So, basically I guess it's a good thing I never pursued my desire to be a cop/detective?

2.  Smoking.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I know smoking is the devil's work.  It's like sucking on a cancer stick.  And, for the record, I don't smoke.  Smoking in real life gives me a giant migraine and makes my eyes look like I am a huge drug addict.  But, smoking on the screen is sexy.  To me.  (Don't send me hate comments.)

3.  I hate Seattle even more than I did before.  It's set in Seattle and it rains all the f*cking time.  It is always raining.  In real life how do they wear make-up or have good hair?  I had a small desire to visit there again with hubby, but now it's gone.  So, hypothetical money saved!

4.  Detective Stephen Holder is hot.  To me.  He is this scruffy, ex-meth head (because is there any other kind of ex-meth head?), skinny, white guy.  He's Eminem-ish.  He's gotten clean and is a vegetarian.  But he eats pork rinds and smokes like a chimney.  I have a thing for guys who have a sordid past (as evidenced by hubby) and a crazy way of doing business.  And, Holder fits the bill.  I don't recall seeing Joel Kinnaman in anything before, but now I am kind of stalking him.     

5.  There is just a touch of mob activity and I love me some mob activity.

6.  The acting is really good.  I am not getting paid to write this (although they should totally be paying me), nor do I have any kind of degree in anything related to reviewing any kind of entertainment.  But, I am here to tell you - this is good acting.  The characters are evolved and deep and the acting is dramatic and well cast.  At first it was a little slow for me.  After watching episodes 1-5 (which I think we did in one night) I thought it could have all happened in one episode.  But now I'm used to it and I appreciate it (hmm, have I grown?).  And, also I think the rain makes all the $hit go slower.

7.  The last episode (13) of Season 1 made me want to shoot myself.  And, it was about 1:30 in the morning, so that was not a nice place to be mentally.  It was fraught with questions and inconsistencies and I just wanted to cry because I didn't know the answers (and because it was 1:30 in the morning and I was still wide awake).  All of the love that I had for The Killing vanished in the last 30 seconds of the last episode of Season 1.  But, then the next day when I could think clearly I found out that Season 2 was already playing on AMC and I might possibly be able to download it and watch it.  So, as I post this I am back in love and ready to gear up for Season 2.  If you're watching it now - don't tell me anything!

8.  Detective Sarah Linden played by Mireille Enos (and I kind of wish I could have another baby girl so that I could name her Mireille because after seeing that name in print for like days I LOVE it) makes me CA-RAZY because she is so warped in her private life.  I have found myself yelling at the TV at her.  Now, I never do that so that's how I know this $hit is good.

That's my amateur review, folks.  I hope you will give it a watch and if you do - let me know what you think.

In other news - I hope you had a great Memorial Day Weekend.  And, also - A Day in the Life is now on Facebook.  Check it out and friend me!  (If you want a new car - kidding!  That's illegal and I don't even have a new car.  But, I might send you guys some cookies or pictures of cookies or something.)  Please and thank you.

I can die happy today. But, if not I guess I'll just catch up on laundry.

Cross this off my bucket list:  I "met" The Bloggess.  Insert huge slightly insane grin and wild laughter.  And I also met and photographed Copernicus and Juanita:

I am still pee pants excited that last night we met Jenny Lawson.  She read a hysterical chapter from her new book:  

See how mine is different from the ones on the shelf because it has my NAME on it?  *giddy smile*

If you are not familiar with Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess), you really should be.  She is an absolutely funny gal with a genuine heart.  And that is why I *might* be in love with her.  Oh, and buy her book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened because you will laugh so hard you will need to wear Depends and also Jesus recommended the book.  He says so on the back cover.  So, that's really good, right?



I had planned all these smart things to say to her when I finally got my three seconds with her.  Instead I just gazed at her and mumbled something incredibly obvious and ridiculous like, "Um, ah, I really like your blog.  Um, ah.  And you're so funny.  Uh-huh."  And she was incredibly graceful and looked at me with quiet patience and a lovely smile.



Now I am going to recover by doing some laundry.  And, oh, if I die today - it's okay.  Mission accomplished.

Netflix: You win.

Apparently Netflix reads my blog.  Or, it could be that I have an amazing and talented (at what - we don't know yet) friend who recommended such a great show that I have to write a post about it.  Please and thank you - - this recommendation is that awesome.

A good friend and loyal blog reader, whose identity will remain protected, (Master of:  jewelry, fashion, and her pantry.  Not a master of: baking) recently suggested hubby and I watch Lilyhammer - a Netflix production.  Now, as you know, hubby and I have odd taste when it comes to TV and movies.  We are hard to please and I am notoriously bad about picking loser shows.  So, when it comes to taking people's recommendations I am a little gun shy.  I don't usually do it.  But, it was a boring Friday night, so we decided to watch it.

If you have not watched it, it is Fargo meets Goodfellas and I am in love.  I am not being paid by Netflix to write this, but I should be.  Lilyhammer stars Steven Van Zandt.  I never watched Sopranos, so I really was not that familiar with him.  What a shame because I love him.  In a nutshell, Van Zandt plays a mobster who testifies against a mob boss and ends up in Lillehammer, Norway in witness protection where he acculturates quite nicely.  He reminds me of hubby because he is a guy who could benefit from some anger management and who uses muscle to gently persuade people, but at his heart he is a lovable character.  The humor of the show is dry and mostly situational not forced (perfect for me).  I laughed so hard I snorted (which usually indicates a winner for me) and the storyline is just unpredictable enough to keep you watching.

That's all I am going to say about it because if you click the link above you can have almost the entire show without Netflix.  Thank you, friend for a good tip.

I would be remiss if I did not also mention one more show that hubby and I have fallen in love with.  Thanks to a comment from Leigh after I was bi&*%ing about a TV show I love being cancelled, hubby and I are now addicted to TV's Person of Interest.  With Jim Caviezel as one of the stars, there is plenty of eye candy and there is an amazing plot that makes you think as an added bonus.  Thank you, Leigh for a fabulous recommendation.   

Netflix and TV:  I am on my way to forgiving you.  Happy viewing, friends!