Let's hope unicorning pays well.

I'd like to come up with a normally scheduled and/or regular series of posts entitled "$hit My Family Does."  But, my track record for normality and regularity sucks. 

That said, remember the post about the evangelizers who left their bikes in our neighborhood and my kids theorized (because they're smart like that) how to most effectively steal them?
Well, this post is kinda like that.

$hit My Family Does (this will probably never happen again)

1.  Boy Child screws things up in hysterical ways.  Today at breakfast he said very seriously and poetically, "That which doesn't make us stronger, kills us."  My favorite quote according to my Facebook profile (which we know is like Wikipedia in its truthfulness) is Neitchze's, so I love this about as much as I love my kids.

2.  Hubby was explaining to Girl 2 what a baker's dozen was.  When he was done she said, "I always thought it was because the baker ate a dozen and then there was one left to share with someone else."  We *might* be related.

3.  We were driving the other day and we passed an area where new construction had started.  Boy Child commented, "Hmm. I wonder what they're building there, mom."  There was a construction company's sign up with the motto "Blank-blank Construction Company...Building the Future."  He quickly read the sign out loud and said, "That's a weird place for the future."  Lest you think he was joking when this happened:  The other day we drove by the same place and he said not even jokingly, "Look, mom.  They're getting pretty far on the future there."

4.  I don't really believe in anthropomorphism, but since I am probably going to have to send this *smart(ass)*puppy to private puppy school, he will heretofore be considered "family."  The puppy tries to strangle himself each and every time he is "chained up" outside.  Before you call PETA on me, he's only "chained" for short amounts of time (or he would die, apparently) and tomorrow the guy is coming to fix our invisible fence (as we explained to Girl 3, it's not really "invisible").  I can tie him up, quickly go inside to get a cup of coffee, walk right back outside to check on him and he's managed to make a cat's cradle with his rope. 

Photo credit:  Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary.

Cheesus.  And, people keep telling me he's smart. I guess I'm ecstatic he's not dumb?

5.  Lately we've been going to our favorite hang-out, Spicy Ginger, and ordering almost everything on the menu.  I am beginning to wonder what those lovely people think of us.  Are they frightened?  Is there talk in the back?  "OH MY GAWD.  HERE COMES THAT ENORMOUS MEXICAN FAMILY WHO EAT EVERYTHING ON THE MENU.  QUICK PUT OUT THE "CLOSED" SIGN."  When you manage to spend nearly $100.00 on a very reasonably priced restaurant, and the food you order could feed a small country and barely fits on the table it borders on embarrassing and it might be time to quit.

6.  This one *might* eventually be one for Prudie, but right now I'm just filing it here.  Girl 3 is addicted to chewing gum.  She hides it like an addict.  Although friends have suggested I allow it on a "supervised" basis, or I use it as a reward, hubby and I have adopted an AA approach in that we are not giving her anymore gum.  (We also helped her to admit she has a problem and make amends to the people she's hurt.)  We are pretty sure if she relapses it will not be a "I can just chew this one piece and I'll be fine," but that she will pick up where she left off and it will be more like, "WHERE ELSE CAN I HIDE THIS $HIT???  THE LID OF THE TOILET???"  Lest you think we are cookoo cra-cra, the *damages* so far include (but are not limited to):  the wood floor in the corner of her closet is permanently marked bright green and scented minty, the cup holder that's closest to her in the Yukon Cornelius is permanently sticky, her sheets are stained bright green, and there is a small piece of hair in the back of her head that still has not fully grown out.

7.  I have an irrational fear of wet dog, rain, mud smell in my house.  Usually that's easy to avoid because I live in Texas and it only rains about once every eight years here.  But, lately we've been having some cloudy weather.  The other night I let puppy out to strangle himself on the chain.  About one second after I brought him in the back door it started to POUR.  I thanked Jesus, Mary, and Joseph profusely that my timing had been so extraordinary.  At about the same time, Hubby was so excited with the rain (I guess he forgot what rain was) he threw open the front door in glee.  Yeah.  Puppy pretty much ran in the back door and immediately out the front.  He refused to come back in until he was soaking wet, stinky, and nice and muddy.

8.  Girl 3 has been a negotiator I think since she learned to talk.  She's stepped up her game as of late and I thought she'd get a little smarter with it.  But, no.  It still goes down something like this almost every time:

Girl 3:  I can't finish this supper.  Remember I don't like peas???  How about I take five more bites?

Me:  How about 10 more bites?

Girl 3:  NOOOOOOOO!  How about seven?

(There are just about 7 more bites of peas on her plate - which I have carefully calculated before entering into the negotiations.)

Me:  PERFECT!

This complete misunderstanding of the art of negotiation has made me wary of what her future holds, but also thankful that parenting in this regard has not become more difficult.  So, I have mixed feelings?  Let's hope unicorning pays well?

Lest you think after reading this that I am perfect and I don't do any ridiculous $hit, I took puppy out running wearing my headset and phone armband for the first time just the other day.  Let's just say the entanglement of earphones, choke chain, leash, and ponytail coupled with my complete lack of coordination and just how quickly it all went down was amazingly embarrassing.  I am so happy that I was home alone and that I ended up flat on my back with puppy joyfully licking my face in my own driveway or I most surely would have to find another home.

When you need to decide what's for dinner ten minutes before dinner.

I didn't know what I was making for dinner when I got up this morning because we are having another eat from our pantry challenge (due to too much Spicy Ginger).  I defrosted two chicken breasts in the hope that I would have some inspiration while working.

So, not only did I have inspiration (in the form of my frantic Google search at 4:14 p.m.), I scored a big hit tonight with food straight from my pantry/freezer by modifying a bunch of pasta recipes I found online and adding in some other stuff I had in the cabinet.

Hot dog, y'all!

Here's the skinny in case you ever find yourself in a dinner emergency (and you probably won't because you are probably way more organized than me):

Delicious hot/cold pasta salad/main course

2 chicken breasts
1 bag of farafalle pasta (or bow-tie - really is that the same thing? or whatever kind of pasta you have in the cabinet)
half a bag of frozen peas, cooked (about two cups?)
a good amount of black olives (half a can?  or a whole can if you really like olives)
one medium size cucumber, diced
feta cheese to taste
about 1/4 cup of Italian dressing
olive oil
mayonnaise
gomashio (I only just found out about gomashio when my sister made me some.  I'm pretty addicted to it now.)

Cut up the chicken into bite size pieces.  Coat the pieces liberally with mayonnaise and Italian dressing.  Cover and let it sit in fridge for at least an hour (or more time if you think ahead). 

Cook your bow tie pasta according to the package directions.  While you are doing that, drain the chicken pieces (but not completely - leave some of that mayo/dressing juiciness on them) and sear them/brown them on fairly high heat so that they cook quickly and brown up nicely.

When the chicken is fully cooked add it to the cooked (and drained) pasta.  Add a splash of olive oil (or more if you like olive oil), and about 1/4 cup of Italian dressing.  Add your cooked peas, about a half a can of olives and your diced cucumber to the pasta/chicken mix.  Mix it all up.

After serving sprinkle with feta cheese (or Parmesan if you prefer that, but feta is just delish) and gomashio.

Best.  Pasta.  Salad/Dish.  Ever.  I loved it.  The kids loved it (minus the feta and gomashio).  Hubby liked it. 

What's on the menu tomorrow?  I think peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Happy eating, y'all.  I'll be back soon - I think I'm on episode 6 of 13.

P.S. - It was eaten too fast for photos. 
P.S.S. - I also made these yummy morsels again, too.  Oh my.  Super delish.

Date night over 40. I'm not proud.

We hadn't been on the proverbial date night for a while.  So, a few days ago hubby said, "Let's go out Saturday night," it took about a quarter of one second for me to imagine a peaceful dinner without any interruptions and possibly an adult beverage (or two). 

I said, "Okay," incredibly quickly and effortlessly and had messaged the lovely lady that watches our heathens when we are gone in record time.  That was the easy part. 

The rest of this post is kinda how the remaining details went down.  Let me reiterate:  I am not proud.

1.  Answering the question - What to do?  Once you hit 35 (ahem), deciding what to do on any special occasion (or just date night) becomes particularly problematic.  Add in the four kids who must be left with a sitter, the fact that hubby has a physical injury which currently (until his impending surgery) is causing him constant pain, and the fact that I have been nursing a migraine for about a week and you *might* have a recipe for disaster.

We went through the long (and quite ridiculous) pretense of pretending we would do something other than go out to eat and try to stay awake until we were actually back home.  Sample of that:

Hubby:  Well, babe, what could we do?
Me:  Whatever.  Go eat?
Hubby:  Well, what do you like to do?
Me:  Hmm.  I dunno.  Eat?
Hubby:  We could go to the movies?
Me:  Okay.
Hubby:  A short movie.
Me:  Okay.
Hubby:  Who am I kidding?  I don't want to see a movie.  At the theater.
Me:  Yeah, me neither.
Hubby:  I guess we could go eat?
Me:  Okay.  That sounds good. 

This pretense continued until Saturday shortly before our departure time when hubby said, "Was there anything in the paper going on this weekend?"

I had actually looked through The Weekender, recognized one band that was in town, saw that they were playing at a venue about 35 minutes from our house, ruled that out, and skipped over the rest of the entertainment advertisements with mild disgust that I was far too old to watch bands in bars. 

I said, "Well, I saw that The Texas Tornados are playing.  I really love them.  Too bad they are about 20 years late."

(Hubby did not reply.)

2.  Once we decided we would go eat (!), we had to decide where.  I have written about our absolute favorite place on the planet to eat, Spicy Ginger, a few times.  It's a little embarrassing that they know our names there and *kinda* treat us like family.  Regardless, we decided we were both hungry for steak. 

We toyed briefly (and when I say We toyed briefly I mean I thought about it for one millisecond before deciding it was not going to happen) with eating at "the best steak place in our city".  I figured a meal for the two of us plus a few drinks for me would cost about $250.00.  Then I thought about how many kids' pairs of shoes I could buy for that same amount of money and we decided on Saltgrass.  Perfect. 

3.   Saturday was a rainy first day of spring break and we were cooped up inside with four slightly rotten kids and a wildly insane puppy.  So, yeah.  It was joyful. 

I guess you could say hubby and I both were stir crazy like we'd been locked in an insane asylum wanted to get away by the time 6:30 rolled around.  Normally when I know I am going out to eat I try to starve myself a little so that I can be really hungry and enjoy my food. 

But, I've been having some eating issues lately (by eating issues I mean I have wanted to eat everything that isn't nailed down).  As luck would have it, this insane hunger that's been plaguing me oddly stopped Saturday morning.  I woke up and I had no appetite.  (This usually only happens when I have a severe stomach virus or I am in a coma.  I have never actually been in a coma, but it's how I imagine it.)  I ate a smoothie for breakfast, I wasn't hungry for lunch, and I ate a few pieces of Girl 3's dinner that she couldn't finish.  You would have thought that by 6:30 I would have been ready to eat the menu, but truthfully nothing sounded good.

So, off we went to the previously decided upon steak place.  (We passed Spicy Ginger on the way and I had to remind hubby that we were both hungry for steaks.)

4.  It was a 45 minute wait at the steak place.  And our buzzer thingie didn't work.  And I had to drink a margarita on an empty stomach.  And on the way over to the steak place (before said margarita) my headache came back with a vengeance.  And the appetizer we got was meh at best.  By the time we were seated and ready to order my head was splitting open, and I had completely lost any vestige of an appetite that might have been there.

5.  Poor hubby.  I felt positively miserable for refusing to eat any of my dinner, but the thought of food was making me sick and my head hurt so badly I really was struggling to keep it upright.  He *may* have blamed the two margaritas I had on an empty stomach, but he is a gem so he never said that.

6.  At about 9:00 we headed home.  The kids had just gone to bed when we rolled into the driveway.  (I'm pretty sure our sitter thinks we are 90 year olds.) 

Thank The Date Night Stars, our evening was not a total loss.  We managed to watch The King's Speech on Netflix and I give it 10 stars out of 10.  I stayed awake during the whole thing (except possibly the beginning credits and about 10 minutes after that - shhhh - don't tell hubby) and it was such a delight that I managed to forget about the pain in my head for a while. 

After the movie ended is where it got complicated.  In Texas we have this nasty thing called Daylight Savings Time.  So, the movie ended past midnight (which was really 1:00 a.m.).  I decided at that time to break down and take some serious migraine medication.  As you might know the meds contain lots of caffeine.  And it had started thundering and lightening (of course because we haven't had thunder and lightening in about eight months).  And puppy and the kids cried all night.  And I ended up sleeping in Girl 1's single bed. 

Too bad I couldn't have had date night around 4:00 a.m. because I was still wide awake and I think my appetite was even coming back.

7.  Boy child had my steak dinner for breakfast. 

Date night over 40, people. 

How much will it cost for a re-do?

Post-Easter Recovery

I hope your Easter was blessed and that you practiced self-control by not eating ALL your kids' Easter candy.  Here's my wrap-up:

1.  Leo went to his new home (thankfully, not in the sky) with this Amazing Guy.  Since The Reptileman is a bit of a celebrity here, it was really kind of him to take a few minutes to chat with my kids about school, the pets he has, and Leo (we did get positive confirmation on gender, and you do, in fact, examine a hidden nether-region part).  Leo is a Russian tortoise and we are sure he will be delighted with his new playmates:  Priscilla, Elvis, and Bob.  Local Readers:  If your kids are into reptiles and amphibians I highly recommend this guy for a birthday party.  Or, if you make Important Decisions at your kids' school, for God's Sake, get this guy to come and do a presentation.  You might be able to meet Leo in person (in tortoise?).

2.  We celebrated successfully completing our pantry challenge by eating at Spicy Ginger.  You regulars know how much I love this place.  Well, they may have made me love them more.  When my kids were noisily clambering for dessert!  ice cream!  candy! they gave them CHOCOLATE EASTER EGGS instead of fortune cookies.  Brownie points!  If you are local and like Asian food, you really must put this place on your To-Go list.

3.  My in-laws (love my in-laws) invited all my kids to go swimming at their hotel on Saturday night.  Best part?  Hubby took them all.  I stayed home.  Alone.  With my two friends I don't see often, Peace and Quiet.  It was like an Easter miracle.  Thank you, in-laws and hubby.

4.  My MIL brought us five dozen cascarones. 

If you are not familiar with cascarones, they are confetti filled eggs (real eggs are blown out and filled with confetti).  They are cracked over unsuspecting person's heads.  This is quite possibly one of my favorite Easter traditions.  They are not allowed to be cracked inside my house, but since we had five dozen, residual confetti is everywhere.  (And I'll let you use your imagination when I say everywhere.  It's kind of like sand at the beach.)  I will be spending a good part of the day vacuuming glittery $hit out of everything.

5.  The girls really did an outstanding job on the cookie decorating.  Me, not so much.  It seems my cookie decorating skills are just taking a nose dive (that wave is me saying good-bye to my Famous Cookie Maker dreams).  I made two or three in this photo.  The girls and hubby are responsible for the rest.

6.  I started the Cathe's Ab Circuit last week.  I was feeling all proud the day I worked out:  "I'm not as out of shape as I thought!"  Then I woke up the next day.  It was like someone (named Cathe) had beat up my neck, legs, sides and stomach.  I couldn't really move for a good two-three days.  It's going to be a long, if not impossible, road to a six-pack.  I may have to settle for a less wiggly jelly roll. 

7.  I really love Easter.  I really hate Easter egg hunts.  I hate the way some parents behave like it's some sort of life or death mission, I hate that I read in the paper (and got stuck in the traffic) that a freakin' helicopter dropped eggs at one local hunt (WTF?), I hate the whiny kids (usually my own), and I hate it when the kids bring home all the crap that's in the eggs, or if it's candy I hate being tempted more than I already am.  This was the first year Girl 3 was cognizant enough to actually participate in her hunt.  She was the first one out the door and she promptly picked up two eggs.  Then, she did what truly appalled me.  She opened both eggs, didn't like what she saw, closed them both back up and threw them back out into the school yard.  BLECH!  In one fell swoop she increased my hatred for egg hunts.

I do like having an Easter egg hunt in my own backyard and we have done that since Boy Child was a wee one.  This year we decided to just cut all the crap and fill them with money.  We make it really hard (in fact, this year we lost two of the eggs - I had been drinking wine all day - hubby as far as I know had no excuse) and we allow no whining or you forfeit your eggs.  Now, here's the great part.  After the hunt, Girl 1 suggested we have a hunt next year in which the kids will hide eggs for the parents.  Great idea, we said!  I promptly suggested filling the eggs with the kids' dollar bills - collected all year long!  I *can't remember* if the kids agreed.

Start saving, kiddos.  Next year's hunt:  Here I come!

A Pleasant Surprise

Another restaurant review. 

I have eaten out since my last one, but nothing really worth blogging about.  I cheated on Rosarios http://rosariossa.com/ once or twice (and it wasn't worth it) and I got in a fight and made up with Rosarios.  I also ate at a diner - which is noteworthy and has been a favorite with hubby and I for about 15 years.  Service is inconsistent, but the food has been consistently good, down home cooking spanning 15 years and a change in management.  Check it out if you are local.  http://www.410diner.com/default2.html

Now, I am not a fan of restaurants couched in strip malls, or attached to gas stations mostly because of the fact that it seems as if they are there because they have not graduated to be real restaurants.  But, I also tend to be tongue tied when hubby says, "Let's go to lunch.  What are you hungry for?" and we have an hour and a half to make a decision, drive to a restaurant, eat leisurely, and drive home so that I can pick up a child or children before the school calls the cops.  So, that is how I ended up at the nearby Spicy Ginger restaurant http://www.spicygingersa.com/ last Thursday after the lunch crowd.

It is couched in a strip mall along with one of the places with which we bank, so I drive by it quite a bit.  A few friends had told me it was good, so we decided to check it out.  I am so happy we did.

I was surprised immediately upon entering because for being in a tiny strip mall and for being a small Asian restaurant, it was decorated quite nicely.  This is not a commentary about the decorating in small Asian restaurants but do you know the red walls, Chinese calendar menus, Buddha theme?  Well, this was not of that variety.  The ambiance was warm, inviting, and the pendant lighting added a comfortable feeling.

I will get right to the food because it was yummy.  I ordered (and, yes, I am a big eater) four "crab and cream cheese puffs" for an appetizer.  They came and looked like neat little pillows.  You could have almost mistaken them for tiny sopapillas.  They had some cilantro and julienned carrots in the middle of the plate.  An attractive touch and super delicious when I picked it up and put it in my puff.  The puffs were steaming hot when I ripped them open.  Did I mention that I love my food hot when it's supposed to be hot?  The puff itself was a little thicker than the crab rangoons I have eaten and now I think I like them thin and thick.  I thought the puffs could have had a bit more filling, but the flavor was good.

It was difficult for me to decide on a main dish because I liked the noodle selection (always a good sign).  I picked Vietnamese noodles and decided to give tofu a try.  It's been a long time since I've eaten tofu and I wanted to see if I still liked it.  I was really happy with my choice.  The bowl came and it was a bowl.  I ate that lunch and lunch/snack the next day (which unfortunately I had to share with my foodie nine year old boy).  The noodles were hot and the flavors mixed together excellently.  The cucumber was sliced a little thicker than in the Vietnamese noodles I've had before.  I liked that.  I could really taste the flavor that way.  There were carrots, lots of cilantro, lettuce, beansprouts, and a slight lemony flavor.  Lemongrass?  Really great combination of flavors.  The tofu was spicy and had the consistency of chicken.  I have no idea if that is normal since it's been so long since I've had tofu, but it was good and tasted like soy sauce.  Sidenote:  The next day my nine year old (who has no idea what tofu is) said, "Give me all the chicken pieces, mom."  Then he claimed how great the chicken was in the noodles.

Hubby enjoyed what he had - Moo Goo Gai Pan.  But, it didn't look nearly as delish as mine, so I didn't ask for a bite.

I thoroughly enjoyed my meal, the ambiance was nice, and the service was great.  The prices?  I couldn't make it for cheaper (let's be honest - I couldn't make it at all).  I will go back.  :o)